the correlation between motivation and blogwriting..

Hello dear friends,

I am writing tonight in the hope that I can become remotivated to do more again. I'm starting to feel intensely lazy and sluggish. It's so nice on the one hand to just be idle and lounge around, but it's not so nice feeling inactive and being mentally slow. I've been so swamped at work that it's all I can do to get through the day, but I want to believe that being more active outside of work will give me more energy through the day or at the very least let me destress.

Now that booty camp is over I need to get started on something new soon. I'm still playing dodgeball but that's only once a week and not nearly enough exercise. I am going to try running again in the mornings now that the time change has happened and it should be lighter in the mornings now, which should help! Also, I'm going to look into that boxing gym for reals. Try out a class next week in fact!

I also want to look into squash (*cough* Ryan) and badminton (*cough* Chow). Ryan did mention some courts up in the far north, but where can we play badminton, Chow?

But let's be real. My big big problem right now is food. I was trying to be good for a while, but I seem to have fallen off the wagon a little. Well, ok maybe I can't actually see the wagon anymore.. But I will have to run a little (literally) to find that wagon again!

So we're currently watching The Biggest Loser. I find my reaction to it very interesting. I think out of a need to be perverse/rebellious (I can't find the word I'm looking for!), I find myself inevitably eating junk food while I watch it. At the same time, I'm agreeing with a lot of the things they're saying and working myself up to be motivated to do more. It's kind of a weird duality. In any case, it's inspired me to write some more and go running in the morning. So we'll see how that goes! The chips I was eating during the show were delicious by the way.

Watching the show makes me reflect on my psychological barriers. I think it's hard for people who have always been fit/lean to know the psychological difficulty that exists for someone who has not been fit/lean for most of her life. It's not just about the willpower to eat less or exercise more - it's all about the hidden reasons I almost refuse to do the right things. This is me baring my soul a little! Since I've been this way for so long I find it hard to imagine a life or a body that is different. I have had glimpses here and there of what could be, but it's still really hard to picture. This is what holds me back - the fear of the unknown, I guess. And the even more secret fear that no matter what I do it won't make a difference or change my life in any significant way. And rationally I know this to be a ridiculous thought on so many levels so I'm working on it!

I do appreciate all your support, but I do also kind of feel like my milestones are things that any "normal" person can do with ease and that my achievements aren't that epic. But I can't compare myself to other people, right?

Anyways, enough soul-baring! I'm sure this is terribly boring and I'm not trying to inspire piteous or "poor baby" feelings. Just letting you know some of my thoughts. I'll try to inject more hilarity into my next post - which will hopefully be in the next few days and it will be all about the running I will have done in the morning. We'll see!

Ohya - I need to set up an *indoor* rock climbing event soon! And I have to remember to call the school nearby about their pool!

Love,

Connie

xo! :)

it's a new day!

And it's a beautiful one!

Look at me go! Two blog posts in two days! Oh. Well technically in 3 days. Whatever! Just be grateful :)

Since the run on Sunday I haven't really done much of anything. Except for dodgeball last night! That was super fun. I still throw like a sissy, but I'm getting better at throwing strategically vs. throwing well. So that's something! I'm also still a bit of a sissy when it comes to getting hit. I still close my eyes and yelp. I need to learn to try to catch those ones that hit me in the midsection rather than just getting hit and walking off. It was also a good workout since we only had 7 people and there are 6 people on at any given time. Fun times had by all! And to top it all off, we won! I think the score is wrong and we should have won by more, but what can you do. A win's a win! Although it's our third technical win - it's our first actual win! :)

Tonight is booty camp. I did miss last week's Thursday session so Breanna and I will also be going tomorrow night in addition to Thursday. I also missed one in the first 4-week session so I'm going to try to make that one up on Monday! It'll be a booty camp bonanza!

So I'm actually really looking forward to this boxing gym business! I think there are a couple people who may also be interested. I just wonder how realistic it is for me. This place is at Carlaw/Gerrard and is not terribly close to me. I'd be finished at 8pm on any given weeknight and then wouldn't get home until closer to 9pm. And ideally I'd like to go at least twice a week. Plus I play pool on Wednesdays until late and dodgeball is Monday nights and are typically late games, too. And what about during the winter when it gets cold and snowy and miserable and dark. Will I really still want to go? And what are the chances I will trek all the way out there on a weekend? So maybe I won't sign up for the full year just yet until I get through the winter and see how committed I am to it. But I am still really excited.

By the way, I am fighting the urge in almost every paragraph to write "irregardless" because I've been informed that if I continue to use it, people will think it's a real word and I will perpetuate the misuse of the word. Not that I think you're dumb. Well maybe I do a little ;) <3

It's interesting. Despite doing booty camp twice a week and dodgeball on Mondays I still feel like I am incredibly lazy and inactive. I need to do more on the weekends I think. Suggestions?

So in the previous post, Shyn suggested I look into more individual sports, in particular, racket sports. I am all for taking up badminton! Or maybe even tennis. As I mentioned, squash scares the bejeezus out of me. Remember, I'm the girl who is scared of a soft squishy dodgeball.

I'd like to hear if any of you have played/like squash. If anyone has a guest pass or something to a squash court I might be willing to try it. Despite the fear!

Also, I would like to try indoor rock climbing some weekend in the near future! Maybe November 7?? I'd be willing to take a day off work for it since I'm tired of working and have all sorts of vacation days. I am planning to take a day off just to go shopping!

Hope everyone is having a lovely day and a more productive day at work than I'm currently having. :)

i'm ba-a-a-a-ack!!

Yay!

So many things have happened since my last post and I will most likely not remember them all, but well you can't miss what you don't know!

Wow - I just realized it's been well over a month since my last post. I'm sorry to have left you without my pearls of wisdom and energizing humour for so long!

But ok where to start..

Booty Camp

I successfully completed the 4-week Booty Camp session! I lost a few pounds, lost a couple inches, and gained some muscles I never knew I had. I signed up for another 4 weeks and am now entering week 3 of it! I missed a day, but I think I'm going to make up for it this week by doing 3 sessions. I am not sure I will continue on past this next 4 weeks but it was good while it lasted! Kept me motivated and active when I was having trouble doing it on my own.

MarathonS!

On September 27 I successfully completed the Scotiabank Marathon - 5k :D It always seem so misleading to say I did a marathon. I did it in 42:26 minutes. Yes, I run really really slow, but I don't care! I ran the entire way and didn't stop at all! I thank Shyn entirely for this one! If it hadn't been for him I would have stopped at the 1km mark. He put up with my whining for 42 minutes and kept encouraging me. My favourite line he gave me was, "Just think - all that time you spent grinding on WoW has trained you for this! Just keep pushing through!" Ok, that was highly paraphrased, but it made me laugh. Though of course only the people who play WoW will appreciate that, but I think most of you do :D

IRREGARDLESS, I ran the 5k and it was glorious!

Riding this high, Mike calls me at work a few days later and says, "Hey, I have a GREAT idea, let's do another 5k!" I foolishly agree and this brings me to today.

On October 18, 2009 I ran my second 5k! In the Goodlife Fitness Toronto Marathon! Despite not having run since the last 5k, I ran it in 40:00. Dammit. I thought I ran it in under 40. At least I improved my time.. by 2.5 minutes. Boo. Oh well! I did walk a few times for a few seconds here and there, though. Mike stayed with me the whole way and played alphabet games with me to keep me distracted!

Now Sharon posted on my Facebook that she is running one in the spring! Should I or shouldn't I? I hate it up until the last km. Then I start to feel more enthusiastic about the whole thing. We'll see!

Boxing Gym

Since I need constant variety, my next new challenge may be joining a boxing gym. I had originally thought that I wanted to do Judo or Karate or something, but then I realized I don't like to touch people. Therefore, sparring activities are not for me. Then I had a brilliant idea that I could join a boxing gym! I just want to punch a bag. Build some muscle, work on my cardio. I found one in the southeast end of the city that I am going to look into once my Booty Camp is over. I can pay $500 for a year's membership and I can go to all the boxing classes I want. These classes are 2 hours in length and offered every day and involves cardio and work with the punching bags. Maybe I won't sign up for a whole year yet, but I will definitely check out a few classes!

I know some of you might be thinking that if I'm willing to spend all that money maybe I should join a gym instead. It would be about the same amount of money. $40ish/mo for a gym=$480/year. But the question is, Will I go to the gym? I do hate it quite a bit and can see myself quitting after a month or so. Stupid gyms. We'll see if I even like the boxing class and go from there I suppose.

Dodgeball

This is so fun! And way more work than I had originally anticipated! Unfortunately, the first two games we won by forfeit when the other teams didn't show up :/ Then in our third match when a team did show up, we lost! :( But tomorrow we will kick ass, I'm sure of it! I think they're the 7th place team and so we should be able to win win win! :) Either way, it's a lot of fun. We have 5 more games, I believe.

Then my new plan is to rent a school gym for January and play various sports. If that doesn't pan out, then maybe indoor volleyball. Or maybe a new sport?? I have recently had my eye on basketball and learning how to play that. This is partly why I want to rent the gym - so we can play bastketball and see how good or bad it is!

Food

All I have to say is that I love food and am finding it hard to cut back and bad foods are creeping back into my diet. I don't like it! I am hoping that writing this blog again will keep me motivated and in a better mindset about my health and wellbeing in general! I was falling off the wagon so often and for longer and longer that I was worrying that I wouldn't be able to find the wagon again! But I always do. Food is so delicious, though. Mm.

Lessons Learned:

1. I get bored of things after about 2 months and have to change it up. This is why I don't believe the saying that it takes 3 weeks or whatever to build a habit. Oh, maybe it's 3 months to build a habit? Hm. Well, whatever :P
2. My body is stronger than I think. It's the mind that's weak! This was another of Shyn's motivational speeches when I was complaining that I needed to stop.
3. October is very cold :(
4. So apparently I haven't learned much in my month-long hiatus. C'est la vie!